Friday, December 27, 2013

feeling the spirit

Christmas is over, can you believe it? Yesterday I disassembled my fake tree and shoved it back into its tiny box. I tucked the beautiful wrapping paper back into the kids closet. I carefully took down our handmade snowflake garland and considered keeping it for next year but decided instead to throw it away because I thought that making the snowflakes with Benny was the funnest part and I'd rather make them again next year with him than just get out the same old flakes.

Done. Now the season is tucked away. Well... sort of. I left out some Christmas candy and have been taking a piece every time I walk past it.

It was our first Christmas officially living together and I tried really hard to find thoughtful gifts for the kids and for Curtis. The kids reminded me regularly that my tree was much smaller than their moms tree and they expressed their wishes for more ornaments. Comparing my little fake tree to their mothers real big festive tree was like a damp cloth on my Christmas spirit flame. I'm still on the fence with one leg on the side of trying to impress the kids and make them love me while the other leg dangles freely on the side of doing what I want and making choices for my own happiness. I think there might be slivers in my ass from swaying back and forth too often. What a strange place to find myself in.
My tiny tree

The best part about this years Christmas has to be that my sisters came home! I'm so happy we can all be together. I don't know how much longer this kind of situation will last. Eventually KC and Kate will get married and we'll have to time share them too. For now, we can be together and I can think of no greater present than that.

A natural accompaniment to my sister Camille being home is that her incredible children are here too. Emily is so fresh and tiny and perfect. She never cries. Her nickname PB really does fit because she really is a perfect baby. I had missed her so much since they left in the summer and i'm just so thankful I can spend time with the kids right now.  After work today I'll go watercolor with Olivia and maybe Sam will hug me... Maybe.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Still here

Still here, guys.
Still alive
Still happy
Still struggling
Still full of passion
Still tender
Still loving
Still learning
Still writing haiku
Still covered in cat hair
Still amazed
Still missing my sisters

Friday, March 8, 2013


Today we move into a new place together. I've never been so happy. 

Friday, January 18, 2013


I found this on a desert trip back in 2009. I had just spent an hour admiring some Anasazi Runes. 
I've got to get back there.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Vegan Blueberry Muffins

These are probably the best blueberry muffins I've ever made.
I don't even like blueberries. Can we still be friends?

Vegan Blueberry Orange Muffins

1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup soy milk
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup fresh squeezed orange juice
1 cup fresh blueberries

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Prepare cupcake pan with liners.
2. In a mixing bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Stir in soy milk and oil.
3. Gently fold in blueberries. Pour into baking cups and bake for 25 minutes.

Stay warm my friends!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Happy Birthday Paula

Happy birthday to the sweetest most beautiful person I know. Not sure how I was lucky enough to score Paula as my mother but I'm really happy I did. I am always learning from her and her compassion never ceases to amaze me.
I hope I can be so cool one day.