Deeper and deeper I sink. Pit of despair where did you come from? Go back. Go away!
How can I be so up and down! Happy one minute, scratching holes in my skin to find a way out just a few minutes later.
What does it mean to truly be happy? I have a beautiful life. I surround myself with people who love me without circumstance. I love them back, the same way, without condition. Were The Beatles right? Is love all I need?
I have a reliable source of income, money ain't a thang I can say without hesitation. I even like the people I work with every day. They make each day tolerable and they remind me that i'm human and its ok to go home and I dont have to work on the weekend if I dont want to. Plus, I have a job, and a lot of people don't right now. I'm lucky. I work hard. I kiss ass. I deserve to be where I am.
I think i've come pretty far from where I used to be. If you knew me 3 years ago you'd have to agree. I couldn't keep a job, I never showered, extremely lazy (er than i am now), bad attitude, didn't care about anyone but myself. I think i've done a pretty big turn around as far as self improvement goes. I even learned to cook and i'm actually really good at it, It makes me happy.
I think for me to really be happy I need to have a better understanding of who I am and what I want to be in the future. I need to find my little place in the world and just run with it. I need to choose a hobby or something I love to do, something that makes me happy, and just do it full blast. I need to make positive changes that can help me be more comfortable with myself. I need to be realistic but still hopeful.
I appreciate your patience on my journey.
Happy Birthday Boy, I love you soooo much :)
Oh and um... my cats are still cute just FYI...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Did I mention I went to Arizona? It's real warm there. My silly sensitive skin just doesn't enjoy being outside in that kind of heat. Although i'm sure I got some much needed Vitamin D. Here are a few pictures from that fun weekend.
They're just crappy cell phone ones but they still make me happy :) Kate was there too! Sorry Kate I dont think I have any of you :( I still love you hehe.
An ant just started crawling across my keyboard. I say thats a good sign we have a bit of an ant problem. What do you think? What should I do!! AHHHH now i'm all itchy.
I bought a vacuum yesterday, assembled it this morning and voila!! Clean carpet! Thanks for helping me pick that out mom. I love you.
I rode critical mass on Friday, it was kind of windy out and I didnt want to go at first but i'm glad I did it was really fun. I like riding with a huge group of people in the road. Not sure why but it makes me feel all powerful. Like we could take over the world! haha ok sorry.
I'm going to make some tea and bury my face in a book and hopefully get some more laundry done today. I'm a huge procrastinator pants.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
How can anyone be unhappy with weather like this?
I keep getting nagged at for not blogging but its because i'm busy actually living my life!! And I guess not being able to blog at work is a contributing factor ;)
I'm on my way out the door right now but I Just wanted to post really quick and thank Camille for letting mama and me come stay there. I had the most fun weekend with my sisters and Olivia. Kellen too :) Soon again ladies? I thought so.
And when I got home, Seth missed me so much we just had to go to Chanon last night. Thank you :) Sorry I have a secret crush on the cute little asian waiter. One time my food was so spicy it literally caused tears to come out my eyes and he came to the table and told us that he cries every time he eats. I think I peed a little.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
151 Posts! Wow....
I wish I had pictures to post to show my beautiful weekend. Its getting more and more rare to have the entire family together. If you go over to my moms blog you can see some. Hey mom you see how your name is highlighted and you can click on it? I bet you want me to teach you how to do that huh? Maybe.... ;)
Today is Elton and Coops 2nd birthday. I'll give them fancy feast and lots of catnip tonight. For me, I'll just have some kitty cake, Cat Nip never really satisfied me.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Even though I worked today I'm still having a great day.
Even though its raining today, i'm still loving my life.
I am snuggling my kitties, watching flight of the conchords, and eating leftover spring rolls. And a graham cracker :)