Monday, December 29, 2008

can haz?

All I can think about is decorating. And new dishes. And tomato soup?

I am really tempted to put all my bright crazy paintings in storage and do simple black and white prints in my room. Daddy can make me some frames and I can just blow up pictures that I (or sarah or seth or ansel adams) have taken.
My dreams look like this:



Ok ok and then pretend this is Mom, Camille, Kate and me.
Kate is the dork with glasses, im the creepy hungry one on the left.
Ummm also, Dad can you build me this bed frame?


Awesome.
So I miss Kate a lot right now it was so much fun to have her here. Obviously Camille and Liv need to come back IMMEDIATELY. Chewy back? Chewy nice? Yes.

Went to the gym with the fam this morning. Made me smile that it truly was a family event. Dad, Boy, Mom and I all got up at the ass crack of dawn and worked out. I even saw the sunrise! I liked it so much I think i'll do it again tomorrow....

Sunday, December 28, 2008

pollywog

My mom is the bomb because she made me my own special funeral potatoes with NO onions and cream of mushroom soup instead of chicken.

I love you mommy.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

oh man

I just had a realization:

For my entire existence... on Christmas day, I have consumed the exact same meal.
Every time.





*I am not complaning, I love funeral potatoes.
** Mom says I'm wrong and that for the past couple years they've been totally branching out.

Monday, December 22, 2008

hiatus

Herro!
Can I just say I hate snow? I hate snow. There I said it.
About a week ago my mom and I drove down to Arizona with Camille and Olivia. It was pretty fun to road trip with them. Also fun because it was my first time ever hanging out in AZ. As soon as we entered AZ there was this giant dust storm and we couldn't see anything around us. Camille did a really good job of driving safely. That night, (after arriving safely and cleaning ourselves up) we went shopping and had a lovely dinner. Mom and I flew home the next day. Good times :)


Just in case you forgot how cute my life is, here is a picture of Olivia holding Lizzys hand.

Lizzy is a pretty good sport. She lets Olivia chase her, ride on her like a pony, and they hold hands/paws.

Also I miss Olivia so much that sometimes I do weird things like...

Yeah thats a sippy cup. I was just drinking my grapefruit juice. No big deal.

Kate will be here on Tuesday, really looking forward to that.

So not much else has been going on... nothing too exciting to tell yall about.

over and out.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

chewy boom!!!



Please click to enlarge, and enjoy.

Monday, December 15, 2008

lesson learned

Dear Candice,

Recent studies have shown that 4 out of every 12 mugs purchased online will arrive at your doorstep in pieces. The people here at the Use Your Money Wisely Foundation for Girls Who Spend Too Much On Useless Shit, would like to extend a warning to you: Please do not purchase more fragile glass items on the internet. If you do so, your heart will break, just like the glass you spent your hard earned money on.

If you require further assistance please contact me.

Sincerely,
Someone who is smarter than you.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Oh and...




I have an etsy problem.
Mug dealin.

Conversation with coworker...
Wifebeater: Oh fun mugs! So you have a lot of parties?
Me: No...
Wifebeater: So why all the mugs then?
Me: Uh... for drinking stuff?

Apparently you have to have lots of friends and parties in order to justify a newfound mug fetish.

Griswald style, Plus a saw.

My family is so super bad ass.
After Thanksgiving, which was marvelous, we went up to "Christmas Meadows" which is just past Evanston. About 1.5 hours drive from our house. Why, you might ask? Because we decided to cut down our own christmas tree this year. My Dads friend does this frequently apparently. Olivia LOVED the snow and ice. She is so damn cute I might just die of cute overdose. Kate and I concluded that basically no matter what she says or does it makes us melt. We will give her everything she wants (within reason).



So we ran around for a while looking for the perfect tree. Kellen found it, gathered us around so we could agree, daddy cut it down, and kellen hauled it down the hill over his shoulder. Lotta sap. :)


Its cuter in our living room. Mom decorated it real nice like. I'll take a picture of it later and post it for your viewing pleasure. It was nice having Kellen here, smart guy, gotta love him.

I wish Kate could have stayed... for.... infinity.

So Liv can't say Candice, Candy, Or Dice. Whenever I would ask her what my name is she'd just stare at me. So we had to make up a name for me right? Thank Mama for thinking of Chubaca. Now Liv calls me Chewy. And its probably the most cutest thing ever. HI chewyyyyyy!!!!!!

*melt*

Monday, December 1, 2008

I love you.




While you are away
My heart comes undone
Slowly unravels
In a ball of yarn
The devil collects it
With a grin
Our love
In a ball of yarn

He'll never return it

So when you come back
We'll have to make new love

Friday, November 28, 2008

What have you done for me lately?









The Moral of this blog is that I love cats. And I'm going to start a book club. If you're a member of this club you'll be reading very exciting, insightful books, none of that anita stansfield crap. We'll meet once a month, maybe twice depending on everyones level of reading skill. And when we meet we'll also eat.
If you're interested send me an email to cjpimpsgr@hotmail.com
If no one is interested, I'm still doing this, by myself if I have to.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

hagsville

TAI:

It's my hips, isn't it?

DIONNE:

No, of course not.

CHER:

Don't be stupid, you can do so much better.

DIONNE:

He thinks he's all that, Tai.

CHER:

Yeah, God's gift.

DIONNE:

You're too good for him.

TAI:

If I'm too good for him then how come I'm not with him?

Friday, November 14, 2008

WWJD

Few things today folks...
First... with the help of my sweet mother, I got rid of about half of my clothes last night. I'll probably be able to sell some of them off, but who knows. One time I tried to sell clothes at a 2nd hand store and the snotty high school girl told me that my clothes were "so 2003" and they wouldnt buy any of them. I feel like im getting rid of some treasures that someone, somewhere will love like I did. But one thing I have not, and never will get rid of are these awesome smelly shoes. The sole (soul?) of the shoe isn't really even attached anymore... I tape it on.







Aren't they adorable? haha... I'm not sure why i'm so attached to all these stupid material things. Are my shoes and clothes defining me? Ahhh!!!


On another note. Lets talk about snacks. I heart snacks. I try to eat healthy snacks when I can. Grapes, Carrots, Trail Mix... My job is super cool for many reasons and one of them is that we have a lot of money in our budget to supply snacks in the breakroom. I'm not talkin about a couple granola bars, i'm talking about fully completely stocked to the brim with food for all of us to enjoy. How cool is that? I love it. Plus free coffee all the time. Before we moved to the building we are in now, someone smart was in charge of the food shopping and they purchased awesome stuff like carrots, pretzels, string cheese, bean and cheese burritos... stuff I loved and lived on. Apparently someone different is in charge now. And they are making everyone around her fat and lazy.
Ok lets start at the top here....


I don't want to name them all, you're not blind, you can read.






Did you know that just one of those innocent looking cute little round Lindtt Truffles contains 14-16G of Fat? Chew on that.



And apparently someone in the office likes their twinkies and cupcakes frozen. Awesome.

What the hell am I going to do? This is ridiculous.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thank you Keith

This made me cry. So true. So sad and so true.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

camel has a broken back

Me: Sorenson Communications Moving Program how may I help you?
Idiot: Hi Charyce? I'm coming to the party tomorrow.
Me: Uhh what?
Idiot: I have drinks, I have the drinks.
Me: You have the wrong number I am so sorry.
Idiot: I have the drinks, AND I got strawberries too. And drinks.
Me: Ok I'm sorry you have the wrong number.
Idiot: The party is tomorrow right?
Me: I have no idea.
Idiot: Ok Well don't worry Charyce, I'll bring the drinks.
Me: Please listen, I am very sorry but you are talking to CANDICE, you have the WRONG NUMBER!!!!
Idiot: Oh!! I got chicken wings too. Party is at 4 right?
Me: I don't know what to say.
Idiot: Wait is tomorrow Wednesday?
Me: Wrong number, sorry.
Idiot: Oh... you mean I have the wrong number? Sorry, bye.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Watch Out For Crypto

We Live in a beautiful world.
Ya we do, ya we do.

As I stumbled around the last corner of the hike and my heart skipped a beat, and I lost my balance, I wondered why my parents never took us to Delicate Arch. It's on the freaking license plates for cryin' out loud. It truly deserves the word awesome. Jaw dropping breathtaking. I wasn't really able to get a good photo. In fact I didnt take many good photos at all. I seem to forget about my camera when I am surrounded by landscapes so surreal. I'm just going to post a few of the noisy stupid pictures I took with my camera. If you want the real thing, if you want a reminder about how small we are... just go. And go soon. According to the Salt Lake Trib today, the land in Arches and Canyonlands will soon be up for lease for greedy white dudes to purchase and drill on. Obama plans to stop them, I really sincerely hope he can and does.
Ok so...
I can't remember the name of this arch but the sun is disappearing behind it.



Ute Rock Art also known as a Petroglyph.






Does anyone else think this looks like a girl riding on a dinosaur?


Colorado River, or at least my avocado boat losing a race on the river.




And freezing cold me.



Thats all folks.

owwie

My arms ache to hug and be hugged.
I don't know why...
I'll post some pictures later today.
Maybe my boss will hug me.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Memory Photo Lane

I was browsing through my photobucket at all my old pictures. I came across some funny ones.

Reason # 41 why I love laughing gas.....
You see, this is me before I had the laughing gas. I was terrified to get my root canal.



And apparently this is me POST laughing gas, feeling peaceful?



Haha man I was such a dork. Well I still am.
Also I was really missing my old apartment. And everything/everyone who lived in it. Even that one deaf guy, I miss him too.
Please disregard the pictures of people dancing and just enjoy how cute my life was...




That there is Mikey and Brian dancing on new years eve. But look how cute my red couch is, and we had yellow walls, covered in fun art. Two little pink coffee tables with Sarahs art books on top.






Hahahah Sarah will kill me for posting this. Yes, she is wearing a wig. Yes, she is wearing a skirt for a dress. That skirt, mind you, is very precious to her, she never let me borrow it EVER. I touched it a lot though. HA!




And that there in the background is my blue bookshelf. Coco gave Sarah a framed picture of Lenny, and we always had it on the bookshelf.
I want my own apartment again :(

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

my 100th post!!!

Haha how exciting!!

I don't have much to say today, just a few points I'd love to cover. In fact I'll use little bullet points.

  • No I didn't vote, stop asking me. I do regret not registering because I'd like to have voted for the state stuff. The stuff that actually effects me. Too late, no use crying over spilled perfume.
  • I love this weather! I love looking out my window and seeing gray light. Snow on the mountains. Let me remind you that I hate snow. But its cute on the mountains :) I love driving in the rain. I love rain in my face. I love the smell of rain. I love when the roads are black.
  • I'm thinking about grandma a lot today! Probably because I woke up in the middle in the middle of the night and (out of habit) I had pushed the sheets down to the bottom of the bed with my feet. I grinned and pulled the sheets up. Grandma used to tsk tsk me for that. She called me her wiggle worm. Every time she complained about losing sleep because I was in her bed, I would just beg for forgiveness and i'd be in her bed again. I love the memories I have of her in bed. Sleeping peacefully with a book half-open in her hand. Tissues in the other hand. Always on her side. I loved her bed. It always smelled so clean. She was a little OCD about washing the sheets and pillow cases.

Emily and I outside in Grandmas garden. *sigh* I miss those pink bricks.


  • This is a serious question guys and if you comment here, i'd like you to answer this. Do you use a bar of soap in the shower? Do you use shower gel and one of them there meshy things? Do you use soap and a meshy thing? Do you use soap and a washcloth? Tell me guys, please, i'm dying to know how you clean yourselves.


Thats all folks.







Monday, November 3, 2008

I'm not good at everything

I used to consider myself a pretty decent coffee maker. I bought my first coffee maker when Sarah and I moved in together and I spent many mornings brewing for the both of us.
I recently quit drinking coffee for about 2 months, but since its really cold I picked it up again. I only drink it black no sugar no creamer.

Today I made coffee in the break room. I sat at my desk while it brewed and when I returned to fill up my cup, this conversation happened

Me: *cleaning off my mug*
coworker: Don't drink that coffee yet, its not done.
Me: No way really?
coworker: Yeah I came in here and got a cup and it tasted like shit so we remade it.
Me: *blushing* Oh... it was bad?
coworker: yeah apparently whoever made it just left the old coffee grounds in there and put fresh ones on top, which made it taste like shit...
Me: oh...

Ok I DID NOT put new coffee on top of old coffee, i'm not retarded. I used a fresh filter and I put the appropriate ammount of coffee grounds in.

Apparently I'm not as good as I thought I was at making coffee. I'll leave that to the deaffies from now on.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I won I won I won

Yay I never win anything.
There is this blog that I follow... It's bookmarked over here to your left on the screen... DO you guys click on those?
Anyway, the blog is Cake Maker To the Stars and I kind of adore her. She's from New Orleans and she has a magical pyrex collection. She also has a magical garden. And she makes magical food from her magical garden. Vegan food, of course, and there are so many recipes of hers I want to try. She makes her own sushi!! How cool is that? I want to do that!! She created what is called a Zine, basically full of her recipes, craft ideas and advice. Click here to read more about her zine.
So anyway, she was having a little contest of sorts and she picked two winners to whom she is sending her zine for free! So basically to win, she just asked us to leave a comment on her page. She said we can talk about our pet fish, or our moms. I dont have fish, but I have cats, and I have one super bad ass mom. SO my comment said...

"I have your blog bookmarked. When I discovered your blog I went all the way back and read all of your entries. I am in love with your kitchen, and your garden. You are so cute and colorful and I envy your pyrex collection. There was a very dry spell where you did not post and I was sad. I am not Vegan actually, just vegetarian. But I am always looking for new recipes and I often bake vegan treats. I don't have a fish, but I do have 2 big furry cats named Elton and Coop. My mom is kind of like a mixture of Betty Crocker and Martha stewart, she taught me everything I know about cooking and baking.
Pick me pick me!!!!"

Sorry mom I hope you're not offended that I compared you to Martha and Betty. You're way better than them. And you really did teach me everything I know, and I have so much more to learn I hope you teach me new things every day :)

I won. I'm awesome.
Thank you Kittee!!!

Speaking of recipes and what not... My cooking has become so boring lately. I dont know why, maybe i'm lazy. But I havent been trying anything new. I hope my new zine will help me snap out of it.
My dad said something last night, well he said a lot of things last night, but a few things stood out in my mind. I was eating my "meat crumbles" burrito, like I do almost every night and suddenly I panicked, I pulled some of the food out of my mouth and I knew it was real hamburger it wasn't pretend hamburger haha. I immediately lost my appetite. My dad pointed out that even though we think we know what we're eating, most the time there are "additional things" in our food. Whether it be insects, animal fur, or other gross things that happen to end up in our food. He was talking about how they examine cup o noodles under a microscope and they SEE other random gross NON FOOD items in there, but they let it slide and its sold to us poor folk who rely on cup o noodle. I used to be one of them haha. The FDA (food and drug administration) are sneaky sneaky people. They allow a certain amount of unsafe chemical additives to our food. Its disgusting. Let me just touch on one particular chemical they allow in our dry foods and beverages. ASPARTAME.
This is from a book I read called Skinny Bitch
"So many people have been sickened from this shit that there are aspartame victim support groups. Some of the 92 aspartame side effects listed by the FDA include memory loss, nerve cell damage, migraines, reproductive disorders, mental confusion, brain lesions, blindness, joint pain, Alzheimer's, bloating, nervous system disorders, hair loss, food cravings, and weight gain.....

KEEP READING

NutraSweet and Equal contain aspartame. When ingested, one of aspartame's ingredients, methyl alcohol, converts into formaldehyde, a deadly neurotoxin. In addition to aspartame, Equal contains the amino acid Phenylalanine. Phenylalanine occurs naturally in the brain, but high levels can increase the chance of seizures and lead to depression and schizophrenia. There is no lesser of the two evils."

Aspartame is found in our precious diet coke. I gave up soda a couple months ago and while I agree its been difficult, when I read about aspartame and the effects of soda pop I dont even want to drink it, i'm disgusted by it. Does anyone even think about what we're eating anymore!?! I'm no saint, don't get me wrong, I eat plenty of junk food. But I try my hardest to read ingredients and avoid things I know are bad for me. I try to find brands that I trust.

Sorry for the rant. I doubt any of you continued reading once it started.

I just want to be happy and healthy and I want all of my loved ones to live long lives without medical complications. I want everyone to be more cautious and aware of what they eat and drink. Everyone I know believes that their body is a temple, a gift from above. So lets think first before we eat, shall we? I'm not targeting anyone specific. Just saying...


On a much lighter note, I love my cats.


























Monday, October 27, 2008

Tagged again.

I don't mind getting tagged. Who doesn't love to talk about themselves, honestly?

Share 7 facts about yourself that no one else knows.

1. I cant listen to Cat Stevens without crying.

2. I'm actually really NOT a bad driver.

3. I like cats more than people.

4. I have only been to 5 different states.

5. I never shave my legs. (Some of you might know that)

6. I don't wash my face. You probably think thats gross but I actually have really good skin.

7. I procrastinate, so bad, so bad that I lose sleep sometimes.


1.What is your occupation right now?
Deaffie Assistant

2. What color are your socks right now?
I hate socks!

3. What are you listening to right now?
Click clack of the keyboard.

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
German Chocolate cake, right before bed. Brilliant.

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Not really. The first time Camille tried to teach me I think I peed my pants in her truck. She didn't try to teach me for a while after that.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Kristen Grondel

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I love her, cousins!!

8. How old are you today?
22

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
I hate sports. Baseball, basketball, football, its all so boring. So uh if swimming counts, I like to watch swimmers.

10. What is your favorite drink?
Water. And ruby red squirt, how I miss thee.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Who me? Heavens no.

12. Favorite food?
Pizza. I feel like i'm 7 when I say that. But Pizza is just fabulous.

13. What is the last movie you watched?
Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Hilarious.


14. Favorite day of the year?
Halloweenie.

15. How do you vent anger?
I bake. Or I cry. Or I fuzzy.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child?
I had a doll named Ashley. I dont know why I liked her so much.

17. What is your favorite season?
Fall, I wish we had more of a fall here. It kind of just goes from blistery hot to... winter.

18. Cherries or Blueberries?
I honestly dont like either. But blueberries would win.

19.Do you want your friends to fill this out?
Sure!

20. Living arrangements?
I live with my mom and dad. I'm so lucky they let me live there rent free.

21.When was the last time you cried?
Its been a while, which means I'll explode next time.


22. What is on the floor of your closet?
shoes.

23.What did you do last night?
I read. I started Eclipse and I read until page 280. I couldn't stop.

24.What are you most afraid of?
The dark.

25. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
Uh none?

26. Favorite dog breed?
I dont really like dogs. But if I must choose, I'll pick anything that is small and furry and similar to a cat.

27. Favorite day of the week?
Saturday.

28.. How many states have you lived in?
Just one :)

29. Diamonds or pearls?
None of the above please. Give me a ruby.


30. What is your favorite flower?
I like Tulips.

I tag whoever wants to talk about themselves. Camille? Eh?


I have a case of the Mondays. Which means I don't feel like it and i've only been here for 2 hours. BUT I was actually on time today. Its my goal to be on time every day this week. It's really hard because, I know I need to be here at 9, but I also know that no one will notice if I am late and no one will get angry at me. So I have do punish myself! How awful! I am not sure why being on time is such a challenge for me. I'm never late for other things. Anyway, I know if I want a raise, I need to feel like I deserve one first and I don't so i'm trying to change that.
This weekend was fun!! Friday night I just stayed in and read. And then Saturday I went all over town costume shopping with Meg. I chose to be Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction. If you haven't seen the movie, let me show you what I was aiming for:




















Click to enlarge. In the bottom right hand corner, you see her dancing with John Travolta. I just wore a simple outfit like that, and my hair already kind of looks like that. I left my purse in the car so I didnt get any pictures of me in the outfit. I'll dress up again and show you later.
And just for fun, this is Mia Wallace post-heroin-snorting.

















Sorry to frighten you children. :)
We went to a costume party with Megs parents. It was fun.
Sunday I felt like a zombie, all I wanted to do was read so... that's all I did. Emerging from my room only to eat and or brush my teeth.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

If only...

If only I could find a man as sweet and loving and faithful as my car.
Someone to never let me down, someone to take me magical places.
Someone to stand their ground when someone else hits a parked car hahahaha.
SUCKS TO HIT A PARKED CAR!!!!

Yesterday, someone hit my car, while it was parked in the work parking lot. Obviously i've been praying for this day for many moons. My car has so many dents in it already that when I told my dad my car got hit he asked, "How can you tell?" Har har. So funny.
I have never really been very nice to my car to be honest. Although I have been wreck free for 2+ years, BEFORE that is a whole different story. I rear ended people like it was my job. Maybe 6 or 7 times.
I just want to do a little tribute to my car because he will soon be gone. I don't need damaged goods.

















I dont even remember where these dents came from, but that ones been there for a couple years.



















Niiiice. I think that was from hitting a giant lifted truck. I basically went underneath him. Oops?

But these, ladies and gentleman, these are from last night.





































Not too bad, broken tail light, the fendery thingy will need to be replaced as well as the bumper.

Anyway all you crazy drivers out there, be safe, watch where you're going and try not to hit parked cars, its awfully embarrassing i'm sure.


Oh and... Can anyone explain what it means to dream about a robotic farmer mannequin?