Deeper and deeper I sink. Pit of despair where did you come from? Go back. Go away!
How can I be so up and down! Happy one minute, scratching holes in my skin to find a way out just a few minutes later.
What does it mean to truly be happy? I have a beautiful life. I surround myself with people who love me without circumstance. I love them back, the same way, without condition. Were The Beatles right? Is love all I need?
I have a reliable source of income, money ain't a thang I can say without hesitation. I even like the people I work with every day. They make each day tolerable and they remind me that i'm human and its ok to go home and I dont have to work on the weekend if I dont want to. Plus, I have a job, and a lot of people don't right now. I'm lucky. I work hard. I kiss ass. I deserve to be where I am.
I think i've come pretty far from where I used to be. If you knew me 3 years ago you'd have to agree. I couldn't keep a job, I never showered, extremely lazy (er than i am now), bad attitude, didn't care about anyone but myself. I think i've done a pretty big turn around as far as self improvement goes. I even learned to cook and i'm actually really good at it, It makes me happy.
I think for me to really be happy I need to have a better understanding of who I am and what I want to be in the future. I need to find my little place in the world and just run with it. I need to choose a hobby or something I love to do, something that makes me happy, and just do it full blast. I need to make positive changes that can help me be more comfortable with myself. I need to be realistic but still hopeful.
I appreciate your patience on my journey.
Happy Birthday Boy, I love you soooo much :)
Oh and um... my cats are still cute just FYI...